benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
