I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
