Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
