try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You did what with his pubic hair?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
