i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
