This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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