i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
