does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
