What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
