Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
