I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
