My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
