The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
