i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There r osticjed everywhere
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I die, sorry about rent.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
