I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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