Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
