I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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