I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
