Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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