i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
