All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
