well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
