dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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