called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
