Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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