im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
