You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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