They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
