It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
