I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
