it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
