It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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