haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
