he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
