the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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