So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
