I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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