My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
