When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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