I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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