Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
