don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dicks are not precious.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
