You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
