im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
