is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
