you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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