I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
