Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
