What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
