Having a random hookup so left but love u
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
