I look better un-naked...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
