apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
