Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
