the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
