I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
