we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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