I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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