So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
