even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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