I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
