Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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