i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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