that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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