Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wear drunk well.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
