The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I touched a dick in church today
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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