Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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