then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
