Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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