Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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