I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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