Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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