absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
