i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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