ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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