Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
